Put Your Shirt Back On

So I attended Mardi Gras festivities this past weekend, and I may never leave the house again. I suppose I've been spoiled by the Girls Gone Wild commercials that appear on every cable channel late at night because what I saw was thoroughly disappointing. Anytime a girl wanted to earn some beads, guys would run to the scene like vultures to a fallen animal, cameras in hand. It was quite pathetic, seeing as how those attention-craving whores were usually the attractive equivalent of a rhino. Also, the video camera wielding 50 year-old men were pretty disconcerting. My only hope was that those dirty old men would push through a crowd only to find their daughters on the receiving end of a new beaded necklace.